It is nearly incomprehensible how much swag (wahhhh!) comes from "unsigned” bands (and I say nearly because who doesn’t want to be a rock star?). These pipe dreams just keep coming and coming and coming; clogging up the mailbox. Usually, the music on these CDs is marked by freakish production techniques (i.e. the bass is way up in the mix with the vocals pounded deep into the snare drum), and the songs are, well, abysmal.

At first, listening to these records is a kick, a twisted form of entertainment for the music snob. Musical self-righteousness only amuses for so long. Soon enough, tedium is racking your brain against the skull, and the fun goes bye-bye. Still, I consider myself "open minded," thus I give 'em the obligatory once over. The CD with crappy cover art and a bio full of lies may just be a masterpiece (or at least a decent listen). You never know.

Reader, you know what’s coming next ... so say it with me: Thank god I listened to the Spectacular Fantastic!

Indiana native/Cincinnati resident Mike Detmer is the Spectacular Fantastic and he makes music that is my favorite sub-sub-sub-genre: Bedroom Pop. You know the stuff: one foot planted firmly in Golden Age Mid-60s Pop, the other in some weird quirked-out-ignore-land of experimental rock (this means anything from kazoos and washboards to analog electronica to found sounds) with lo-to-mid-fi production (but not freakishly so) values. Detmer’s Vortex Of Vacancy does fall into these sweeping generalizations, more importantly; it is more than a decent listen.

He kicks offs the record with “Eskimo," a wonderful catchy, hooky, delicious piece of pop wonderment. The hits keep coming: “Lullaby” recalls the mid-90s Scottish power-pop via Neil Jung, “Orbit” is quirky pop that succeeds, “Just My Luck” is a totally awesome track full of fuzz guitar, “Adore” is marked by heartbreaking guitar accentuated by a mournful piano as Detmer gets morbidly deep singing to his honey, “What would I say if I was dying?” (static softly buzzes during the pregnant pauses that litter the verses -- it’s luminous). Then there is “Tragic Novelty," the apex of Vortex Of Vacancy, an absolutely tremendous grooving mini-pop-symphony (three "movements" over three minutes and twenty-three seconds).

Not all is rosy in this vortex: “Everday Sunshine” has Detmer trying his best to be Jeff Magnum (Neutral Milk Hotel), “Keeper Of The Gate” is stylistically painfully out of place on the record, “Alcohol” is a country-hick-drawled silly song, “Obsession” is more fixated on rhyming eye-oh-en words rather than crafting a song, and “Freedom," a full-on electronic track with a lazy melody. These tracks are momentum busters. To be truthful, I’m nitpicking. Even though Vortex Of Vacancy comes up short as an overall record, it’s about the songs and Detmer’s got hits. It’s undeniable.

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© 2004 Bandoppler Publishing